Before I start my blog post, I want to announce that I have a follower! Following is not the same as stalking, so I am very excited! It’s someone I know, and even better, it’s someone that I absolutely adore! I knew she read regularly, but having an official follower pleased me tremendously. YAY!
Yesterday we had Family Dinner. The trip down began much earlier than the normal 4:00 pm departure. EN wanted to go meet up with Tiny Mike (our brother-in-law) and his friends to watch the football game. I decided to take the girls to Walmart for some much needed household goods. One of my friends lives nearby, so she came shopping with us. There were only a few incidents involving begging for items that Sugar and Spice would DIE without. Plus my friend amused them by dancing in the aisles a few times. The girls love crazy people.
We got to my parents house an hour before we were expected, so I got extra credit for coming early to visit. My aunt is still in town for the holidays and there seems to be some discord between she and my mother. My mother tried to talk to me about it and all I got out of the furtive hissing and whispering was that Auntie may or may not have read my mother’s personal email. That behavior isn’t so surprising as she has a reputation for snooping, so I said, “thank God I didn’t email to see how the bitch was behaving!” Auntie is worth a post of her own so we won’t dwell too much on her behavior today.
The girls are quite pleased to go to their grandparents house as my mother has lots of treasures around for them to look at and play with. They were behaving well, but it was starting to become apparent that the big boys (EN and Tiny Mike) were going to behave badly. In a stroke of brilliance, they decided to each text my sister and me and ask if they could miss dinner. Hello, no, if you aren’t dead, you’re coming over to eat. My sister texted me to see if I had said it was ok for them to miss dinner, the boys were busted.
Tiny Mike was obviously in charge of transportation because they arrived on time. With beer in hand. They each had one while waiting for dinner and stood swaying while they chatted. At this point the house is filled with crazy people: kids running around screaming, my mother and aunt nagging at each other, my sister scowling at her husband, pure insanity.
It’s only fair to say that my mother loves her sons-in-law, the baby boys she never had. She delights in their misbehavior and is even happier when her daughters are annoyed with their husbands. It goes without saying then, that she was in her glory. I said something and EN laughed and shouted out, “What the fuck are you telling her?” He just dropped an f bomb at the feet of my mother. He got all flustered, Tiny Mike was laughing so hard I thought he would pee himself and Auntie got right in my face and said something like, “He talks like that to your mother?” Meanwhile my mother is doubled over laughing so hard I’m surprised she didn’t pass out from lack of oxygen.
We get the three middle kids situated in the kitchen with their dinners and the rest of us headed to the dining room. EN sat next to my mother and alternated between trying to charm her and talk to Tiny Mike about the fun time they had. Auntie clucked like a mad wet hen. My dad sat there shaking his head. My niece spoon-fed Spice because she’s not capable of feeding herself if Tia is around. Why do anything for yourself when someone’s willing to baby you? Dinner was louder than usual due to the buffoonery of the boys.
We tried to ask the boys what they had been up to and they both clammed up. I said, “Oh, I see how it is, bros before 'hos?!” My father was quite pleased with that line and asked me to repeat it a few times. The boys mentioned that one of their pals hadn’t yet arrived when they had to leave so I said, “Why don’t you go back then?” Tiny Mike started doing the happy dance in his chair, “You get to go back? Can I go back?” When my sister finally said yes, they bolted out the door so fast we had to yell at them to come say goodbye.
We stayed for another hour and I picked EN up on the way home. The rest of their night out seemed to have been just as much fun as it was before they came to dinner. Dinner ended up not being the stressful, tension- filled evening it could have been. Sometimes there’s an upside to boys behaving badly.