Thursday, August 18, 2011


I had an inkling that it wasn’t a good idea to invite the mothers to come see the new house last Friday. However, this is the year of the kinder, gentler Ice Princess and I was in the mood to be nice so I invited them. Reality gave me a dummy smack and I wondered, “WHAT THE FUCK WAS I THINKING?” before we even got to the new house.

I left work early to meet EN at home for lunch before meeting the realtor at the house. EN’s mother showed up nearly an hour early and she came to our house rather than meeting at the new place. Both those moves seemed odd to me, like she was trying to talk to EN when I wasn’t around. If that was her plan, then my presence ruined her day.

We arrived at the house long before my mother did, so Bug got a private tour. My sense of unease grew as I saw the house through her eyes. I felt like every place she looked, she pictured space for herself. She about tripped over herself trying to get to the stairs quickly when EN went into the basement. I didn’t go down with them, but EN later said that he had a similar feeling to mine. She's got a lot of stuff, and that big ol' basement gives her lots of room to spread out!

Throughout the tour she mentioned money and projects repeatedly, “This house is going to take a lot of money! This house will need a lot of work!” Ok, we heard you the first seven times, so stop. We understand the work it will take and the money involved. WE GET IT! This is the third house EN and I have bought together and we aren’t clueless. We dream big, but we are patient and will tackle one job at a time when money and time permit. EN is a great laborer and I’m a fantastic supervisor! Let’s call a spade a spade, I’m not at all mechanically inclined and even watching me paint a wall gives EN a tension headache.

Bug called us on Saturday and talked more about the house and asked more financial questions. She called again today and asked many of the same questions. It’s like she is hinting that the house is too much for us, both financially and work-wise and wouldn’t things be so much easier with her living there and paying rent? She was even bold enough to ask, “What will you do with that room above the garage? You know, that little Spice is so funny. When we were up there she said, ‘Grandma, this could be your room.’” Oh, I’m sorry, hit me with a 2x4, WE CAN’T HEAR YOUR IMPLICATION.

So now I’m miffed. I resent someone prying into my financial business. I resent someone implying that we don’t know what we are doing. This bothers me coming from her especially… she is a financial disaster. Because I don’t like to discuss my financial business, I won’t discuss hers here either, but I will say that she’s had many issues. She’d be one of the last people I would ask for financial advice. If friends want to talk to me about their business, even asking for advice at times, I’ll listen and help the best I can. Making sound financial decisions is something I am good at. I’m proud of my credit rating and lack of credit card debt. I have worked my ass off to get us in that position.

EN texted me about his mom and how he answered her questions. When she asked about the amount we owe on our current house, he said he wasn’t sure because he doesn’t pay the bills. When he mentioned the additional space in the house, I texted him back and said, “Tell her we’re buying two little African babies. There’s no room at the inn.”

Then he told me the “cute” conversation Bug shared about Spice. I told him to pass the message to Spice about the African babies, there won’t be room for her either. And to answer the question, “What will we do with the room above the garage?” It’s already equipped with the Boom Chicka Bench. That room is where EN and I will make sex videos to sell online so we can afford our mortgage.

It’s nunya… none of your business. And if she is going to ask questions that pry into my personal business, she is going to get a wise-ass response. 

Ice Princess

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