This week at work has been agonizingly slow. The following is an example of what I do with my time:
Text exchange between EN and I:
Me: Can I get a
EN: You want to get a dog?
Me: Why not?
EN: We are going to be the freaky family with ten dogs, aren’t we?
Me: *sniff* I think ten is a bit excessive.
EN: Go ahead.
Mind you, before I had even texted EN I had contacted the woman who placed the ad on Craigslist… because that’s what I do. I surf the pet ads on Craigslist looking for someone giving up a pet that I just have to have. Because I don’t have enough drama or responsibility in my life.
The day is young and I have more online surfing to do. I stumble across websites like glamourdog.com and doggievogue.com and see that there are endless accessories I can buy for a precious little pooch.
Me: Can I get a canopy bed and jewelry?
EN: For who?
Me: The dog.
EN: Jewelry for the dog too?
Me: Ok, maybe that’s a little much. How about a tutu and a leather coat that says “Born to Ride”?
I occupied myself in the late afternoon with Internet searches of cute names for a girl dog. Oh yeah, call me certifiable. I’ve narrowed it down to three or four. I am in charge of naming anything because EN will choose something like Harley; Sugar would choose a cutesy name like Babycakes and Spice would insist on Buttcrack or Tuna Casserole.
I also take the time to contact a few friends to get their opinions: Is having three dogs weird? They all assure me that having three dogs is not weird. I know those evil bitches are just kicking back to see the show. I’m glad they don’t know each other because I know they’d start coordinating refreshments and seating for the insane floor show that will take over my home.
Between cooking dinner, doing homework and bathing the girls, I am in contact with the owner of the dogs. She has sent me pictures of the puppy, the mother and I have tentative plans to see the puppy tomorrow. Clearly, I am insane and need to find a job that keeps me busier so I don’t have time to surf the Internet for stuff I really don’t need.