Monday, October 18, 2010

Ode to My Fat Ass

No one warns adults that when they sign up to take online courses to work on a degree that they are susceptible to the “freshman fifteen.” When we ship our kids off to college, we know that they aren’t going to eat as well as we would feed them at home and there might be some alcohol consumed. Then around finals, instead of going out to meals, they down a bag of Doritos and sodas trying to stay awake for the all nighter. Hence the weight gain.

It happens to grown ups too. It happened to me anyway. The last time I was truly thin was when I joined Weight Watchers in 2004. I lost over 20 pounds and started looking pretty good, back into my pre-Sugar jeans even. EN must have thought I looked pretty good too, because by the end of 2005 we welcomed Spice into our family. I gained 40 pounds while pregnant and almost instantly lost 20. The other 20 pounds stayed with me. I started to get serious about losing the weight, then decided to go back to school. Now every night I’m parked in front of the computer or a textbook studying, writing, working on ridiculous math problems. Not ginormously fat, or even enormously fat, but I have a whole lot more fluff than I’d like. My big-girl-beer-drinking jeans are tight, uncomfortably so.

Thankfully, the weeks left in school are almost single digit. Less than two weeks left in this class and a final eight-week course. If I go by calendar days, I will have exactly two months left as of tomorrow.

Now that I’ve gotten my brain filled with new knowledge, it’s time to work on getting some of the junk removed from the trunk, the belly, even the arms (yikes!). What disturbed me most was a glance I took into the mirror when Spice was giving me a hug… her little arms looked like a string being wrapped around a beach ball. How embarrassing. How dreadful. Something must be done.

Come December, my next project is already slated. A friend of mine coined the phrase “40 by 40.” That is my goal as well, losing 40 pounds by my 40th birthday. I’m going to have to say goodbye to the yummy treats and soda and bring back the good eating habits I learned the last time I was a Weight Watcher. Bring on the celery and ice water.

My mouth waters in anticipation and my fat ass is begging for mercy.

Ice Princess

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