Friday, April 1, 2011

April Fool!

When most people tell me things I always assume they are telling me the truth. There are some exceptions to this rule of course. Some people are not capable of telling the truth EVER, so then I assume everything out of certain peoples’ mouths is nothing but lies. I don’t need to say who those people are.

This morning my cell phone wasn’t working, but then it suddenly blew up with texts from Skinny Bitch. She said she had big news that NO ONE knew yet, no one could know but she was dying to tell someone. I texted her back to find out what was going on and she shared that she had taken a pregnancy test and it was positive. Since I knew she isn’t against having another child I knew she would be happy about this, but her husband would be less than pleased. I immediately asked what Fabulous Hair had to say about it and she said she hadn’t told him yet. We went back and forth for a bit then she said, “Gotcha!! April Fool!” Oh holy shit, I forgot that was today! What impresses me the most about Skinny Bitch doing this is that she's so kind and genuine I never would have guessed there was a conniving broad hiding under that sweet smile. 

Later in the day, I get a text from my sister saying, “WTF! Tiny Mike just got arrested.” I texted back to find out exactly what had happened and she texted back, “Nonpayment on April Fool!” I was had once again.
Seriously?! I’m reasonably intelligent and these chicks are pulling jokes on me left and right and I am not bright enough to catch on? What is wrong with me?! I guess it goes back to what I said about always assuming things I hear are the truth. I’m such a sucker, but I appreciate that fault of mine so I laughed along with both my sister and Skinny Bitch about their goofy jokes. If you can’t laugh at yourself, you have no right laughing at anyone else. Good job, ladies.

I laugh along at their jokes and I don’t mind at all being the butt of those jokes. However, there is similar thing that people do that I hate. It’s the giving of a joke gift. I’m not talking about the silly crap you buy at Spencer Gifts, but hideous jewelry or clothing items that are bought and given just because they are outrageous. I know everyone has different tastes, so when I open a gift that is something I find repulsive, I say thank you and pretend I like it. I’m forever afraid of hurting someone’s feelings. I’ve gotten many gifts that were to be considered jokes and never quite caught on. The gift-giver tells me afterwards that I wasn’t supposed to like it, it was a joke!! On the other hand, I’ve gotten some truly hideous items that I opened and thought, “they can’t be serious” when in fact, the gift was genuine. If you’ve never heard my story about the used dickie I got for Christmas once, I’m happy to share the story the next time I see you.  

I don’t get why people would spend time and money looking for something stupid and give just for a reaction. For some reason, it just strikes me as mean. Why give me some God-awful piece of crap to see how I react? Do you want me to fake it and pretend I like it, or am I supposed to shout out, “This is hideous!!”  I never react properly.

I occasionally buy something goofy and wrap it up. When I give it to the person, I’ll say something like, “You are gonna die when you get a load of that mess!” I make it obvious that the gift is something that they will open and we’ll laugh together over it. I never want to put a friend in a position where they would feel uncomfortable.

So go ahead, play a joke on me and I’ll laugh hysterically about being had, I’m an easy target. Give me a joke gift and laugh at me for not realizing it’s a joke and I might throw it at you. 

Ice Princess

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