I remember being really little and losing a sandal. I can even remember what the sandal looked like. It was yellow leather and had a big ladybug on the top. They were really cute and I was sad about losing the sandal. I remember being in panic mode and telling my parents I had lost this shoe. I got a spanking, then was grounded for all eternity. My friend came to the door shortly after the punishment with the lost sandal, I had simply left it outside somewhere.
Sugar loses stuff all the time, I’m sure I’ve even blogged about it before. There isn’t a week that goes by that she hasn’t lost money, homework, a clothing item, something. Yesterday she had violin lessons at school. Since we were in a rush to pick Spice up for her dance rehearsal, I didn’t notice that she left school without her violin. As we were walking into the rehearsal, Sugar said, “Can we go back to my school so I can get my violin?” First, no, we are about to walk into Spice’s rehearsal. Second, no, by the time we would even get back to the school, it would be closed up for the night.
When I picked Sugar up today, she and the woman that runs the After School Program met me at the door. They told me that the violin was not there and hadn’t been noticed the night before either. Colleen said that the last time Sugar left her violin behind (GASP, yes, it has happened before!) she put it in the music teacher’s office. She’s hoping that someone else found it this time and put it there. I just looked at Sugar and growled, “Get in the car.”
We’ve been home for hours now and that was about the extent of my fury. I have been holding it in. I didn’t scream, swear or shake a child. I simply told her that if the violin wasn’t found, she was going to have to pay for it with the money she’s saving for her iPod Touch. It’s a mean, cruel world… perhaps I’m being overly harsh with her, but she really needs to start paying attention and keeping track of her stuff.
I made her call EN and tell him the violin was lost. She fluffed it off and said that it was probably just in the music teacher’s office. She displayed not an ounce of guilt, sadness or fear that the instrument had been lost. That’s the part that infuriates me. When I lose something, it tears me up inside. I am in agony over whatever it is. I just don’t understand how someone could really not care. And that, my friends, is why Sugar will be using her own money to pay for the lost instrument if it isn’t found. I need to get through to her somehow and to hit her where it hurts. I now know what parents mean when they say, “This hurts me more than it hurts you.”
I emailed the music teacher and asked him to let me know if the violin had been turned in. I've yet to hear back. I also called the place we rented the instrument from and they told me we'd owe about $250.00 if it's not found by 7/10. It remains to be seen whether I will be kicking in the balance she needs for her iPod, or for a violin.