Monday, June 4, 2012

She's a Runaway!!

Last week I wrote about the intense attitude and fighting that’s been going on at my house. After a peaceful Thursday, Friday night ended with a bang.

Since the girls had been good on Thursday, I took them out to dinner Friday. We just went to the cheap Mexican place in town. They were good there, so I let them have ice cream for dessert. They were so well behaved that I had no issue letting them go play with their friends when we got home. As usual, they travel between multiple houses on their bikes and scooters. Before long, I had a large crowd in my backyard on the play set. They came in to tell me they were going back to a friend’s house and off they went.

A few moments later, Sugar is racing in the house screaming that the ice cream truck was coming up the road and she needed money. I reminded her that we had ice cream an hour before and she screamed, “NO WE DID NOT” after her head started spinning. As you can imagine, this conversation went nowhere good fast. Then Spice comes pedaling down the street. I could see her screaming something but couldn’t hear her, so I went outside where she started yelling about the ice cream man from the street. I tried several times to say, “Stop screaming at me” but I didn’t get anywhere. She finally heard me when I roared, “GET IN THE HOUSE NOW.”

And there I was, stuck in a house on a Friday night with two screaming children. I sent them upstairs to let them scream in their own space and Spice raced up the stairs while Sugar stood in front of me to tell me again how wrong I was about EVERYTHING. At this point, one of their friends came biking back down the street to get the girls to come back out. She rode into our driveway, heard the commotion in the house, did a U-turn and left. I’m pretty sure the entire neighborhood now knows that the residents of our home are plumb fucking crazy.

I did what any other mother would do at this point. I was about to lose it, y’all… I calmly (I can’t believe I was holding it together!) told them to get their butts in the tub, then go to bed. Arguments ensued again… “IT’S STILL LIGHT OUT, WE CAN’T GO TO BED YET!” and “OUR FRIENDS ARE WAITING FOR US TO COME BACK.”

I won this round and both were tucked in before 8 pm on a Friday. I had an entire night of peace and quiet. I wasn’t even sure what to do with myself for that much time. It was a bit of heaven on earth.

EN did not have hockey Friday night, so he was home earlier than usual. I reminded him that he needed to play Tooth Fairy as Sugar had lost another tooth. He snuck up the stairs and was gone forever. When he finally came back down, he handed me a note that was attached to the tooth.

The original note was written in pencil, but I scanned and
traced so it was easier to read. The original will be kept for
all eternity. 

Let’s dissect the note, shall we?
1.       “Dear Family:” I like that she doesn’t specify any one of us. We are lumped into one giant pitcher of Haterade.
2.       “Hope you know how upset you have made me:” What was upsetting to her? The fact that I denied her a second dessert or the fact that I made her go to bed early?
3.       I really enjoy the specific schedule she lays out for herself for June 2, 2012. Mama runs a tight ship, looks like her girl will be the same way.
4.       “Love you all.” Again, no one specific, but she does specify that she will miss her sister.
5.       And finally, a bribe… she’ll stay if she gets a hamster. Really?
6.       “Love your leaving daughter” is by far my favorite line of the note. The poor dickens!
7.       Be sure to also note all the ANGRY punctuation in the note. Last time I had periods that big, I had just given birth!

I handled the note like any reasonable mother would. When she got up on Saturday morning, I asked her if she needed a suitcase. She told me that she changed her mind and would be staying. I said, “Oh, that’s too bad. I already have a new kid for your room.”

Meanwhile, it’s obvious that she knows who the Tooth Fairy is. Do we still have to play that game with her? Or can we just tell her the Tooth Fairy won’t come for her anymore because she thinks she’s gone to live somewhere with a nicer family? 

Ice Princess


  1. I am SO HAPPY to know I'm not the only mother to live with crazy. Love the way you handled it Saturday morning!! Hope you enjoyed a nice adult beverage with your peaceful Friday evening. :)

    1. Thanks, Cindy! Humor seems to work better than any medicine in this house! And I certainly did indulge in a few adult beverages that night! Welcome to the blog and thanks so much for commenting! xo

  2. This post is just so awesome on so many levels! I LOVE IT! You must save that letter forever! :)

    1. Thank you! She wasn't overly pleased that I put it up, but all was forgiven when I told her that it was called "spectacularly awesome!!"

      Thanks again for stopping by. :o) xo

  3. Stupid Ice Cream truck!! When are we going to get together and ban them altogether? We need a revolution against them!

    1. That assface has been back EVERY SINGLE DAY this week. I'll sign any petition banning the Ding Ding Man! xo

  4. Awesome. My brother used to threaten to run away all the time. Mom's response "Don't forget your toothbrush." ha!