“I had a biopsy today,” said my friend. “But it’s no big deal.”
“My doctor called me today to say they found cancer but it’s early,” she said, two days later.
“Does this mean I have breast cancer? I don’t like the way that sounds,” she said. “We need to come up with a new word because I don’t want to look at my boob and think CANCER!”
“Yes,” I said, “you have breast cancer but if you use the situation to your advantage, you could probably get a nice new set out of the deal.”
“Oh, it’s just one. They’d probably only fix one, then I would be lopsided,” she said.
“You need to work on your negotiating skills,” I said. “You could get two and they’d be real perky and you’d never have to wear a bra!”
She paused to daydream for a moment and I know she was picturing herself with a fabulous new rack. “I’m not going to die, am I?”
“No,” I said. “You are too young to die. Besides only the good die young.”
“That’s right. I have a lot of years left then,” she said.
“I’m a good chemo buddy. If you have to do that, I’ll come sit with you. I’d even hold your hair back if you got sick.”
“I won’t have to have chemo, will I?”
“Maybe not, maybe surgery and radiation. I guess it depends what your doctor says tomorrow.”
“Yeah, I don’t want to lose a boob and my hair. Those are my best features.”
“No, you have really nice legs too.”
“I really do, don’t I?” she said.
This morning she said she probably misunderstood what the doctor had said on the phone and I said, “Because he really said???” and she said they had a bad connection.
Today my friend found out she will need to have surgery and radiation. She’s not sure whether it will be a lumpectomy or mastectomy type of surgery until she has an MRI next week. And she said, “It’s early. I’m fine. I got this.”
And I said, “Of course you do. And when you don’t ‘got this,’ that’s OK too.”
Cancer sure did fuck with the wrong broad this time. She’s going to kick his ass and laugh while she’s doing it. In fact, Cancer might be so scared, he’ll disappear from the earth altogether.
Sending prayers to my girl. Anyone who fights a battle wearing stilettos and lipstick is sure to win.