This is going to be one of those times that I use my blog for selfish purposes. This is a memory that in the grand scheme of life, is nothing. But in a few years (or months?), Sugar will be in the throes of hating her mother and I want to be able to look back and remember that once, there was a time when I could make her laugh her ass off every time we did something as simple as driving together.
Our old house was right off a main road that was pretty busy. There weren’t a lot of houses in the section nearest our turn off. Now we drive down a residential street and pass loads of houses before we get to our turn, and we’re at the end of our street.
This gives us much to look at and talk about. We look at landscaping, paint colors, house styles, etc. Our favorite houses are the ones that look like they have hoarders living inside. It’s easy to recognize these people. They have yards filled with junk and you can usually see stuff piled inside through the windows. Sugar and I have a favorite house that we drive by and look through the window at the stuff piled on top of an avocado green refrigerator. We always yell in unison, “Clean the top of your fridge.” Totally dumb, but it amuses us endlessly.
One of our new neighbors has piles of stuff in their yard with signs up to sell everything. We’ve seen signs for bunnies, guinea pigs, eggs, moss covered stone (swear!). They even had an upside-down shed in their yard. They left it that way for weeks.
Since Sugar is still young enough to share every blessed thing with her mother, she pointed out the houses that Curtis and Cameron live in. This was a prime example of arming an idiot (me) with information she doesn’t need. Of course I’m using that knowledge for purposes of evil. Insert evil laugh here.
Teasing Sugar started off as a joke. She pointed out Curtis’s house one day, so I started saying, “Hi Curtis” every time I drove by. It’s winter and my windows are rolled up, so he doesn’t hear me anyway. Then Sugar says, “You may as well say hi to Cameron too. He lives over there.” Oh you silly naïve little girl! Now I say hi to Cameron too.
Sadly, saying hi just wasn’t enough for very long. I soon started blowing kisses at their houses on the drive by. Sugar rolled her eyes and told me I was crazy. Then that got old, so I said that I couldn’t wait for summer so the boys could actually hear me when I said hello to them. Again the eye roll from Sugar and mumbling under her breath. Finally, I pull a last trick out of my hat: now I honk when we drive by. She reacts to this by screaming, “OH MY GOD YOU ARE SO WEIRD.” And I laugh. And she laughs.
I guess that’s my relationship with my tweenie right now. She thinks I’m hilarious and weird and she still finds it amusing. I know the day is coming when she won’t want to be caught dead with me and my behavior will make her want to die a thousand deaths. When that happens, I will change my behavior and start acting like a proper mother. I will not be funny. I will not tease. I will speak only when spoken too. God knows, anything I say will be wrong anyway. For now though, I’m cool for being a goofball. We laugh and sing and “WOO HOO” past the houses of the boys on her bus.
And that’s what I do when I’m driving around town with the girl I love…