Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Shower Thyself?

I’m an old fashioned girl at heart and downright nit-picky about some things. In my silly little head, there’s etiquette to be followed at certain events. I don’t know where these rules came from, I don’t know who made that shit up, but these rules need to be followed. Because I said so.

I’m the first one to admit that I hate a wedding or baby shower. I would consider a root canal a viable third option if I had to decide where to spend a gloriously sunny Sunday. Let’s face it, the weather is always beautiful when we are stuck inside watching some friend open gift after gift while we ooh and ahh over crock pots or breast  pads. Truly, a woman’s life is sooo exciting. I hate these events so much that I mostly choose to not attend, but I’m pretty good at remembering to send a gift along anyway.

I hate these events when they happen in my honor too. I begged everyone to please not hold a shower for me when I married EN. I was pleased to be in the hospital, having already given birth to Sugar when her shower was held. Some friends knew this had happened and planned not one but TWO early showers when I was pregnant with Spice. I’m embarrassed at being the center of attention and opening piles of gifts makes me feel weird. However, it is nice to celebrate weddings and babies and I would never begrudge anyone a gift. I love to buy presents for people.

Even worse than a shower or party that forces gift giving is one thrown by the guest of honor herself (not being sexist. I’ve never seen a man do this). I was once invited to a neighbor’s house for a housewarming party. She further told us that it was called a housewarming party so people would bring her presents. Oh, and also bring an appetizer to share. I was completely taken aback and only went to this party because I was forced into it by another neighbor. Of course she had a great big gift table set up by the front door. I'll also add here that she never sent a thank you card either. 

It seems odd to me that someone would want to throw their own bridal or baby shower. Surely, they will get lots of gifts already, right? Surely there is someone else in their life that will take the role of hosting the party, right?

Across my Facebook status feed comes this little gem on Monday night:
Ok people I need you to email me ur addresses so I can send invitations for my baby shower November 5th! It’s a girl!

Then on Tuesday morning:
Didn't realize how much work a baby shower is! Trying to find a big enough place to have it any ideas???

Y’all? No no no… this is not how it is supposed to be! I am stunned by this, appalled even. When did it become OK to throw a shower on your own behalf? I like that she mentions the sex of the baby in the first post. Let’s not be confused and buy her anything blue. And in her second post, is it me being snarky or is she hinting for someone to offer up a place where she can host her own baby shower for the hundreds of people she’s obviously expecting. Her next post is likely to be something like, “Let me know what you plan on bringing for food/beverages!”

Call me bitchy, bossy or crazy, but I think it’s tacky as hell to host your own shower. At least have the class to ask a sister or someone to act like they are doing all the planning. I don’t care if the guest of honor actually does it all behind the scenes, but this kind of behavior is rude. 

While we are on the topic of showers, can we talk about how people dress at these events now? It used to be that the guests all dressed up in their Sunday best. Nowadays even the guest of honor shows up in ripped jeans. I guess she was too busy updating her Facebook status to: Don’t forget my shower is today at 1:00!!! Buy me something good… and expensive! 

Ice Princess

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