Despite the fact that I’m opinionated and always think I’m right, I really don’t like to fight. When I was younger, I would throw down with the best of them. Now that I’m older and slower, I backpedal when someone starts arguing with what I have to say. Why bother? The exception to this rule is EN, of course. I married him so I could fight with him regularly. However, our personalities and fighting styles are very different. He is generally too laid back to really give a shit about much and likely just stops listening while I continue with my rants.
Because I feel like everyone sees this inner combative personality of mine, I was surprised a few months back when Sugar said to me, “Don’t you and Daddy ever fight?” Really? Where have you lived the last ten years, sweet child? I said that I yell all the time and she said, “Yeah, but you don’t fight.” I don’t know if she’s referring to a physical altercation or a screaming match but she’s right. We generally do not fight and when we do it isn’t in the presence of the girls. I remember my parents fighting when I was a kid, and I don’t want my own girls having those memories.
Our last serious, knock-down, drag-out was over two years ago. I was taking two classes and working full-time and upset that no one was having a birthday party for my niece’s 16th birthday, which happened to fall on Easter Sunday. I planned the meal and invited my family and EN decided to pitch a fit that I hadn’t invited his mother too. Normally one extra person would have been ok, but this time, no. I’m the only one that works full time and I’m hosting again? Add to that the fact that there were already extras coming and I knew I didn’t have enough plates, chairs or table space… I was stressed. You really want to fight when I’m stressed? Game ON!
After two days of fighting, two nights of EN sleeping on the couch, he packed his bag and was set to walk out the door. I told him if he walked out he was NEVER coming back because I don’t takesie backsie (greatest line ever, stolen from a Lifetime movie!). We screamed at each other for several hours and in the end, some of the extras that were invited canceled and EN’s mother was invited to attend.
Since I’ve had this dry spell in the fighting arena, I felt the need to find a new sparring partner. I was especially cranky this past spring and felt like brawling. Some current event got Skinny Bitch and me all up in arms, so we bickered for a bit. In the end we agreed on the issue. I wasn’t done fighting though, so I emailed her the next day and asked if she still felt like fighting. She did, and at the same time, we sent each other a list of things we could fight about. Most of the topics were social issues like welfare, education, capital punishment, or current events like the happenings in the Middle East. I went through her list, she went through mine. We agreed on everything. There was nothing to fight about, damn it. I think though, if we ever fight for real, she would be a very worthy opponent.
Instead, I’ve been fighting with my children about the state of their bedrooms. I’ve been seething with anger about my niece. I’m overloaded with adrenaline and anger and really no place to let it go. I told EN that I need to start running or something, to work of this anxiety.
In the meantime, I went to dinner last night with Rich Auntie, my parents, my niece and Sugar and Spice. Somehow the topic of fighting came up and I mentioned that it had been a long time since EN and I had a good fight. Spice pipes up with her own comment, “Next time, just smack his weenie.”
That one is going to fight dirtier than her mother does.