Boobs have always been a hot topic in our house. Sugar talked about them a bit when she was little, but Spice has always been infatuated. Perhaps I nursed her too long, who knows. She grabbed hold of my friend Cindy’s when she was real little and as soon as she could speak in a complete sentence, she asked the Director of her daycare, “Miss Kim, where are your boobs?” Thankfully Kim had a good sense of humor about it and found Spice’s comment to be hysterical.
I recently started rereading the old books I bought for my friend, so I could know what she was talking about when she called to discuss, and found myself laughing again through, “We must, we must, we must increase our bust” in Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret by Judy Blume. I’m pretty sure every girl who was a preteen in my era remembers this. It’s a book that should still be read as many of the issues are timeless.
For example, take the issue of Margaret and her friends discussing the girl who developed before anyone else. It’s interesting to see their perceptions of the poor girl, and how they never gave her a chance to prove that she really is just like them. It was probably worse for her as she was the one that actually had to walk around with boobs when no one else had them yet. There’s really no way to hide a rack.
Sugar came home from school this week and told me that her BFFL has been making fun of two girls in their class because they have to wear bras. She’s apparently been gossiping about these girls behind their backs. Sugar maintains that she didn’t participate and even said, “That’s really mean.” If she stood up for the other girls, I’m quite proud of her. We talked again about how some people develop earlier, some later, and how uncomfortable it can be for those girls. I really hope that she truly is as sensitive to these girls as she tells me she is.
I’m bothered on so many levels about this specific issue. As a female, it’s probably because I was lucky enough to be endowed at a young age. I can remember the looks. Even better was the time a football player whipped a volleyball at my chest. I swear they are still swollen and that’s why they’re so big. Really, it could be true.
As a mother my heart breaks for these girls and I hope Sugar doesn’t have a hard time. She’s so little and skinny, it’ll be very obvious once she develops. I discuss this endlessly with Skinny Bitch because we have daughters the same age. However, Skinny Bitch’s daughter has had the good fortune of developing early. I’m in awe of how laid back her daughter is about her body. She doesn’t care that she has to wear a bra. She doesn’t care that it might stick out a little in a sleeveless dress. She’s ok with her body and I’m amazed by that. I think it speaks volumes about how she’s been raised. I hope that Sugar and Spice are the same way when their time comes.
Skinny Bitch and I have also discussed other issues that we’ll soon face, if we haven’t already: body odor, shaving, periods. We have much to look forward to! We have both addressed the body odor issue by providing our little Stinky Pit Pre-Teens with deodorant. We are stumped about shaving: do you shave your girls’ underarms for the first time, or just hand them a razor and let them have at it? And periods, well, that’s just all bad and there’s no fun way to discuss THAT. Of course there are many other topics that I can’t even allow myself to think of at this point.
While Sugar contemplates the body changes facing she and her friends in the near future, Spice keeps focused on her beloved Barbie princesses. A recent bedtime conversation:
Spice: Mama, that’s Prince Eric, Ariel’s boyfriend.
Me: Oh? I thought they got married?
Spice: Oh no, Mama! He’s not going to marry her. He’s going to marry the octopus because she has big boobs!