A Good Fight

Despite the fact that I’m opinionated and always think I’m right, I really don’t like to fight. When I was younger, I would throw down with the best of them. Now that I’m older and slower, I backpedal when someone starts arguing with what I have to say. Why bother? The exception to this rule is EN, of course. I married him so I could fight with him regularly. However, our personalities and fighting styles are very different.  He is generally too laid back to really give a shit about much and likely just stops listening while I continue with my rants.

Because I feel like everyone sees this inner combative personality of mine, I was surprised a few months back when Sugar said to me, “Don’t you and Daddy ever fight?” Really? Where have you lived the last ten years, sweet child? I said that I yell all the time and she said, “Yeah, but you don’t fight.” I don’t know if she’s referring to a physical altercation or a screaming match but she’s right. We generally do not fight and when we do it isn’t in the presence of the girls. I remember my parents fighting when I was a kid, and I don’t want my own girls having those memories.

Our last serious, knock-down, drag-out was over two years ago. I was taking two classes and working full-time and upset that no one was having a birthday party for my niece’s 16^th birthday, which happened to fall on Easter Sunday. I planned the meal and invited my family and EN decided to pitch a fit that I hadn’t invited his mother too. Normally one extra person would have been ok, but this time, no. I’m the only one that works full time and I’m hosting again? Add to that the fact that there were already extras coming and I knew I didn’t have enough plates, chairs or table space… I was stressed. You really want to fight when I’m stressed? Game ON!

After two days of fighting, two nights of EN sleeping on the couch, he packed his bag and was set to walk out the door. I told him if he walked out he was NEVER coming back because I don’t takesie backsie (greatest line ever, stolen from a Lifetime movie!). We screamed at each other for several hours and in the end, some of the extras that were invited canceled and EN’s mother was invited to attend.

Since I’ve had this dry spell in the fighting arena, I felt the need to find a new sparring partner. I was especially cranky this past spring and felt like brawling. Some current event got Skinny Bitch and me all up in arms, so we bickered for a bit. In the end we agreed on the issue. I wasn’t done fighting though, so I emailed her the next day and asked if she still felt like fighting. She did, and at the same time, we sent each other a list of things we could fight about. Most of the topics were social issues like welfare, education, capital punishment, or current events like the happenings in the Middle East. I went through her list, she went through mine. We agreed on everything. There was nothing to fight about, damn it. I think though, if we ever fight for real, she would be a very worthy opponent. 

Instead, I’ve been fighting with my children about the state of their bedrooms. I’ve been seething with anger about my niece. I’m overloaded with adrenaline and anger and really no place to let it go. I told EN that I need to start running or something, to work of this anxiety.

In the meantime, I went to dinner last night with Rich Auntie, my parents, my niece and Sugar and Spice. Somehow the topic of fighting came up and I mentioned that it had been a long time since EN and I had a good fight. Spice pipes up with her own comment, “Next time, just smack his weenie.”

That one is going to fight dirtier than her mother does.

xoxo

Ice Princess

A Different Look

Ok, so I was bored with the blog template I had and I'm attempting to change it up. I'm doing my best... but getting frustrated because I really have zero experience with this... Stay tuned and tell me what you think. Yeah, that means click on the friggin' pencil and speak.

xoxo
Ice Princess

Soldier Boys

It’s been a long time since I blogged about soldiers, then again, it’s been a long time since I’ve done a damn thing for them. Time to get back on that! Here’s a refresher: I adopted a soldier in November 2009 through adoptaussoldier.org. I wanted the girls to learn how good it feels to give, and I thought it would be even more special if there was someone specific we were “giving” too. I wanted a connection… Our first soldier was Megan, who was deployed to Iraq. Then there was Sheila, also in Iraq and Melissa in Afghanistan. Of my three Soldier Girls, we are still in touch with two of them. Megan is now in Hawaii and Melissa is in Virginia. It always brightens my day when I hear from them.

I have not sent anything overseas since we put together that mammoth shipment at Christmas time. I can’t get out of this habit. The entire process of sending things overseas makes us so happy. It starts at the store, where my girls are focused on buying for someone else rather than begging for things. They become fun to shop with and we are challenged to find a variety of treats and useful items to send. We always include homemade cookies, so there’s an opportunity to hang out and cook. I’m no fool, I realize they’re just waiting to lick the bowl and eat cookies hot out of the oven but they claim to love “helping mama.” They love writing out cards or making their own and it’s warmed my heart on more than one occasion to look through pictures on Facebook to see pictures the girls have drawn hanging up in a soldier’s room thousands of miles away. We are strangers after all…

At this time, I don’t need to go through the regular organization to adopt soldiers. I know of three that are currently deployed. One soldier is the son of Pinky, another is the husband of Darcy, Sugar’s second grade teacher and the third is our friend Spencer. When Megan visited in November, she brought Spencer. The girls adored him and talked his ears off, then made him play Dance Dance Revolution. My sweet angels stood there and howled with delight as Spencer tried to keep up and begged them to slow the game down. They laughed even harder and said, “It doesn’t go any slower.”  Spencer was a great sport and highly entertained by their love of Sugarland’s “Stuck Like Glue.” While he was here, he mentioned that he might deploy again and I told him then that we would love to adopt him. Spencer tried to say it wasn’t necessary, like I was feeling obligated to take care of him or something. Adopting soldiers just isn’t a big deal for us, we LOVE to do this. The hardest part is wrestling the junk food away from Sugar and Spice so I can ship it out.

I am a mom of girls and my other soldiers were girls, so I’m a little mystified as to what to send this time around. I would email the Soldier Girls and they’d talk of shampoo, soaps, lotions and body washes but most men just don’t care about that stuff. Besides, for two of them, I’m working through a wife and a mother. Darcy tells me Bruce loves junk food… Pinky let slip that Brandon chews and she doesn’t approve so you KNOW I’ll send him chewing tobacco. And Spencer, well when he was here, I promised him I wouldn’t let the girls send him anything pink. He responded, “Those girls can send me whatever they want.”

So when we shopped on Saturday, we focused on food. We bought candy, chips, gum, raisins, Easy Mac, Slim Jims, then we came home and baked cookies. The girls spent a lot of time writing out cards and Sugar was focused on writing something different in each one. I love to see them so excited about putting these packages together.

The packages are ready to be sent and I hope they enjoy them.  There’s nothing pink or remotely feminine inside, maybe just a flower or two drawn by Spice. And one package really does contain chewing tobacco. Zippy the lippies, Pinky!

xoxo

Ice Princess 

Endings... Or New Beginnings?

I am in a place today where I’m not sure if I should feel happy or sad. My babies are growing up and both faced big changes today. Sugar finished her last year at her elementary school and has been promoted to middle school. Spice quasi-graduated from kindergarten in her private daycare and will move on to kindergarten at a public school.

What makes me happy is the impact on my household budget. We are currently over $900 per month on daycare costs. We’ll see that cost at zero through the summer (thanks Mommy!) and go back up to $450 per month once we need to start sending the girls to after school care. Do you hear the sigh of relief I gave just typing that? That means that EN doesn’t need to work six days a week any more. He’ll still have to do that every once in a while, to cover the extras, but for the most part, we’ll be able to make ends meet on a five-day paycheck. It’s been a long hard road.

I’m happy to see my girls maturing and becoming these tremendously fantastic little people. They are now ten and five years old and I feel very comfortable in the mothering cap I sport around town. My chicks can tell me what ails them and what makes them happy. Mothering is easy and life is good.

However, I am sad when I see my girls growing so quickly. Where has the time gone? Only yesterday, they were babies that I cradled in my arms. Today, they walk and talk, read on their own and have their own very brilliant ideas… Ok, so some ideas aren’t really that “brilliant.”

I was sad dropping Sugar off this morning, her last day at her elementary school. Oh, how my heart broke when she said that she would cry today. Her friends are moving on with her, but what makes her sad is leaving the place and the people that make her comfortable. She regularly has lunch with her 3^rd grade teacher and will no longer be able to do that. She’s devastated to leave behind this woman that she loves so very much. She’s had a great run at her school. She’s made a lot of friends and her teachers have loved her. I saw her change from a hypochondriac 6-year-old to a ten-year-old that works hard to do well. I credit the women that she’s spent the last four years with that guided her and taught her well. I was only along for the ride, and to make sure she arrived at school every day with the important parts covered.

Spice took part in the kindergarten graduation at her daycare tonight. I won’t lie, I arrived there with attitude, pissed off that she rehearsed for weeks, but wasn’t part of the show. I should have known better. Instead of sitting in the audience with me like she was supposed to, she stayed up front, albeit on the sidelines, and sang every song with the kids she’s spent the last few months with. I’m amazed that she knew every song and every move. A huge feat considering that she’s also had skating and dance recitals recently. She’ll start public kindergarten in September. I hope they are ready for my little Spice Girl.

I was pissed at EN for most of the evening as he missed these great events-fire truck ride and last day of school for the girls, because he was off on his weekend. He could wait for Man Whore for four hours and gallivant across the countryside to help his loser freeloading friends, but he couldn’t wait four freakin’ hours to see the girls ride the fire truck to school. There are no words to describe what it was like when the fire truck pulled into the school yard with 400 kids cheering. That’s a ghost he can contend with on his own.

After the festivities of the day, I took the girls to dinner at our favorite place. We were waited on by our favorite waitress and we had a lovely time chatting. It seemed only right that the song from my very own high school graduation would come on while we were there.

May the good Lord be with you 
Down every road you roam 
And may sunshine and happiness 
surround you when you're far from home 
And may you grow to be proud 
Dignified and true 
And do unto others 
As you'd have done to you 
Be courageous and be brave 
And in my heart you'll always stay 
Forever Young, Forever Young 
Forever Young, Forever Young 

May good fortune be with you 
May your guiding light be strong 
Build a stairway to heaven 
with a prince or a vagabond 

And may you never love in vain 
and in my heart you will remain 
Forever Young, Forever Young 

And when you finally fly away 
I'll be hoping that I served you well 
For all the wisdom of a lifetime 
No one can ever tell 

But whatever road you choose 
I'm right behind you, win or lose 
Forever Young, Forever Young 

Forever Young, Rod Stewart

I couldn’t have said it any better myself. 

xoxo

Ice Princess

Welcome Mat

One of the reasons I married EN was because he really is one of the nicest guys on earth. Sometimes though, his level of niceness deserves nothing more than a dummy slap to his forehead. I mean seriously, he gets taken advantage of more than I do, and that’s saying something!

EN is off this weekend with his band of misfits attending a biker party in New York. He’s been going for the last four years and somehow got to be in charge of providing food and beverages for all. Quite impressive given that he can barely make an edible grilled cheese at home. However, the fare for the weekend consists of grilled meat, chips and beer. Despite my best efforts, the boys have refused my repeated attempts to send along homemade blueberry muffins and salads with vegetables in them. They insist that chips and beer (hops) are vegetables and the flavored vodka is fruit-based.

EN very diligently takes up a collection for food ($25/each) and charges everyone for the beer they request from the distributor. It goes without saying that they spend more on beer than food, but hey, they are camping in the rain and using portapotties for the weekend. I would need to be under the influence all weekend too.

This year, a group of five guys showed up to sleep here before departing, another one showed up at 4 am and others were expected to meet them at their destination. Some of these guys are “regulars” but others are virgins this year. It’s amazing to watch these guys pack up the night before. There’s a shitstorm of activity and piles of stuff everywhere, somehow it all gets loaded into trucks while beer is being consumed as everyone gets into party mode.

The guys that show up the night before have remained pretty steady. They help load and show up afterwards to help unload. On the other end of the spectrum are the mooches who drop their crap off to be carted in a truck so they can ride their bikes. They don’t help with the packing process, nor do they ever arrive at the destination in time to help set up camp. It is expected that EN and whoever else arrives first save them a "good spot" and collecting food and beer money is also a challenge.

I have mentioned these people before, see posts from December 18 and 19 if you want more information. One guy is EN’s best friend and he’s generally cheap and useless, but a lot of fun to have around. The others are B and T, a couple we’ve known since before we were married. They are mooches like nothing I have ever seen. I dedicate the rest of this rant to their loser-like behavior.

First, let me point out that this weekend has always been a “boys weekend,” yet T insists on going along every year. She also nags the rest of the wives to please come along so she has girls to hang with. Um, no, it sounds miserable and dirty. I’d rather have a root canal. I occasionally take time away from the family, so it’s only right that EN have some time too.

I should mention that she’s always gone along, even before EN and some others started going. If she and her husband want to camp in the mud with thousands of unruly bikers and call that “date weekend” have at it, but leave the rest of us alone. If you are going to tag along with the guys, who are likely behaving badly, keep your mouth shut and don’t act like a whiny shrew.

These two idiots start complaining before they even go. They complain that the $25/person for food is too much and they’ll just buy food from the vendors. You see where this is going, right? Before long, they are too lazy to find a vendor, so they’re eating what EN has bought without paying their fair share. She also nags about how much beer B wants to buy, so he never buys enough, then proceeds to drink everyone else’s. These are the same people who have declined every potluck barbeque, but show up empty-handed just as the meal is being served.

They complain endlessly about how broke they are, yet she does not work. Why should she? She collects a check every month from the federal government. I’m sorry, but if you have the time, skills and energy to annoy people on Facebook and play games all day, there’s no reason why you should get to sit on your fat ass. They have no money, yet they own two motorcyles, one of which they custom built themselves.

It is the custom-built motorcycle that they have driven to this event for the last two years. Last year, it broke down three times before they finally got a ride home and drove back in their truck. The six hour drive took them 18 hours. You’d think they would have learned their lesson. But no. I get a text last night from EN saying that he has arrived and set up camp, but now was going to pick up the two dopes that were stranded 60 miles out. From what I gather, they had another hell ride out there and others within the group offered AAA assistance, which they declined. Why the heck would they take that offer when they could just whine to EN and have him trot off to get them? My left eyeball exploded when I heard this story last night.

What makes me even more angry is that I have known these people for 15 years and I can remember countless times when they have treated EN badly, said negative things about him to me and to others, she’s thrashed on me and made all sorts of false accusations… yet they still expect help at every turn.

I received a text at 10 pm last night that EN was on his way back to camp with his mooches in tow. I sure do hope he was kind enough to cook them dinner when they arrived at their final destination. I also hope he bought her the food she specifically requested but did not pay for. 

xoxo

Ice Princess

Firefighter Joey

For years now, Sugar has been trying to win a ride to school in a fire truck. Every year this prize is raffled off during Spring Fling at her school. Every year she buys tickets and carefully fills in her name so it won’t be misread. She passes up other cool prizes like bicycles, gift cards for stores, etc and puts all her tickets in the bucket for the fire truck ride. Every year she is bitterly disappointed when someone else is chosen. This year, she didn’t even stick around to hear who won, and as it turns out, this was her year. Friends told her she won, but I worried for part of the weekend that they might be tricking her. I posted on Facebook and another mother confirmed that Sugar had won this most coveted prize. Sugar kindly said that she would allow her sister to ride along with her. 

I made arrangements with the principal earlier this week. They didn’t want to wait until the last day of school, in case the truck was out on a call that day, there’d be no way to reschedule. Sugar was up by 6:30 waiting for the big moment to arrive. She got into bed with me and chatted my ear off until I finally told her to beat feet. Kids just don’t appreciate that last half hour of sleep.

My mother and aunt showed up to take part in the excitement and the big moment arrived. The fire truck pulled up in front of the house and the girls could barely contain themselves. We took lots of pictures and chatted with Firefighters Joey and Mike. Well, I chatted with them. My mother, aunt and daughters flirted shamelessly with both men, but especially Joey. How could they not? The guy was hot. Spice couldn't even look in his direction without turning a very deep shade of red. Within 30 seconds, my mother had found out he was a former Marine, blah blah. I’m not ashamed to say I gave her a swift kick in the ass. Yes, really. And she had the audacity to ignore me and keep on with the flirting. I’m telling Dad. LOL

Sadly, we only live about two minutes from Sugar’s school, so the ride wasn’t too long but they did drive around a bit. When I got to the school, the teachers had already started lining the kids up outside. Oh yes, the entire school waits outside for the fire truck. The police escort arrived, followed by the speeding fire truck, with lights and sirens blaring. The entire school cheered when they pulled in. It took everything I had not to cry. It was just so cool!  Sugar and Spice both had the biggest smiles. Mike got Sugar down from the truck and said, “Now, we have to walk around to the other side of the truck so everyone can applaud you.” It seemed to me that they enjoyed doing this as much as my girls enjoyed riding in the truck.

Recently, I’ve been thinking that I hate my neighborhood, not crazy for the Mommy Mafia in my town, my commute stinks, I could move closer to the state line and have more job opportunities… There are lots of reasons to leave this town. But today I remembered why I love it here. Schools here are an important part of the community. Local businesses care about the schools and often have nights where they donate a portion of their sales. Many parents care about the school and town and there’s a great sense of community. Dickheads living on my street are excluded from that sentiment.  I love that the different town departments work together as they do. I’ve gone to Mother’s Day lunches at the school and fire fighters and police officers are there, donating their time to serve the mamas. It gives a gal something to feel warm and fuzzy about.

And let’s face it, that Joey was pretty easy on the eyes… 

xoxo

Ice Princess

On a Jet Plane

Check that out! I'm totally breaking my "two posts in one day" rule! I am leaving at a ridiculously early hour tomorrow to fly out to be with Shannon for a bit. She's beyond happy that I'm coming. We'll see how long that happy mood lasts. I'm told by a little bird that she hasn't been doing her exercises so I need to get her to step it up. You know that's a task this old girl can take on.

And check out the list of followers. Yeah, that's right... Follower #7!!! She thought I would nickname her "Lack of Boobs," but given the time and attention she's given to make her girls appear larger than they are, I can't bring myself to do that. For now, I'll call her Fly Girl, not sure if it'll stick. I met Fly Girl on Sugar's first day of preschool, nearly six years ago. During that time, I've watched her mature from a swinging single girl to a married  mama. She always treated both my girls very well. As a matter of fact, when Spice was really little and in trouble at daycare, they'd say, "Do you want to go and sit with Fly Girl?" Basically the equivalent of going to the principal's office. Spice would say, "Sure" and go hang out with her pal. It never occurred to her that she was in trouble!

Fly Girl now works for an airline and generously gave me one of her Buddy Passes to visit with my girl. Truly, there isn't a way that I can think of to thank her for her kindness. She's even kept in touch on the lightest flights, so my Stand By status doesn't leave me stranded at some crappy airport. I will say that I'm not sure I appreciate her gloating about me having to drag my fat ass out of bed at 3:30 am, but given her generosity, I'll let it slide.

I don't know how much I'll be blogging, if at all... Perhaps a short update, maybe a few notes posted that I can elaborate on later, we'll see. I wish you all a fantabulous week and hope that life treats you kindly. If not, I'll be back on Tuesday to help you kick some ass.

xoxo
Ice Princess