There were two months when there were no entries to this blog. It’s a blog that 20 people read and there’s really no reason to apologize, but I feel bad anyway. Mostly because I have no record of my day-to-day buffoonery during that period. I've been a blogger for several years, so this makes me sad. I really have no legitimate excuse but to say that I was “girl interrupted.”
I got caught up in much family drama around Thanksgiving. Within driving distance, there are five houses (including mine) where we could have celebrated Thanksgiving. I already host Easter and Christmas Eve every year and of those five households, I’m the only female that works full time. I felt justified expecting an invitation. The week before Thanksgiving, EN and I were prepared to spend a low-key day at home with the girls. Perhaps we wouldn't even have turkey?
Even though it was the year for us to spend the day with EN’s family, no local invitation was forthcoming. Of course the family in Alabama wanted us, but the price for four plane tickets was out of reach. Finally, MY sister invited us and I took her up on the invitation. Of course it was momentous. I hadn't seen my niece since March when I discovered she was pregnant. I had never met her daughter, who was born in July.
As EN’s mother assured him that she had plans, we accepted the invitation from my sister. The day before Thanksgiving, guess who calls to say she’ll be all alone for the day? I told EN he should visit her with the girls in the morning, so she wasn't all alone all day. Long story short, the Thanksgiving holiday passed without issue.
In early December we had a small soiree for EN’s 45th birthday. I’m married to an old dude, y’all! We invited people from work, friends, hockey buddies… and ended up with 50 people and a gigantic bonfire on a very cold night. With a minor exception or two, the party went off without a hitch and a good time was had by all!
Report cards came out and we had conferences with the girls’ teachers the following week. Spice, as I thought, is known to be very smart and helpful in the classroom. However, she is only willing to do what she wants to do. If she’s put in a reading group that doesn't include her favorite cohorts in crime, she simply will not participate. No surprises with her. Sugar’s conference was thrilling to me. After the drama with Science and mean girls this year, she pulled out ahead and got straight A’s once again. Homework at the kitchen counter did the trick!
Then, on December 14th the massacre at Sandy Hook Elementary School in Connecticut.
Moment of silence.
Even on 9/11 I didn't cry when I watched the footage. But on 12/14/12, I sobbed. I cried big ugly tears and my heart broke over and over again with every emerging detail. For weeks I cried every time I was alone. I thought about families with piles of gifts for recipients that were no longer on this earth. I thought about families waiting for their babies to come home from school, to have them never arrive. A month later I cannot remember that day without a lump in my throat and tears in my eyes.
I have tried over and over to empathize with these parents and put myself in their shoes, but I cannot. It is unbearable, a Band-Aid-ripped-off- an-open-wound type of unbearable. Perhaps it’s because I have a child of exactly the same age, or perhaps it is that I am human and something so devastating should never happen.
I am generally not religious and can count on zero fingers the number of times I've been to church in the last two decades. However, I will say that I think there’s someone up there who watches over us, and never gives us more than we can handle. I began to question these beliefs on that day, and I continue to have issue with a God who would allow such an atrocity to happen.
I learned a lesson that day, or was reminded of an old rule that EN and I made when we moved in together: even if you are mad at each other when you leave in the morning, always ALWAYS hug and kiss and say I love you when you leave each other for your day. You never know when it will be the last time you see one another. So there, maybe that’s it; maybe that’s our lesson from God. Maybe He was reminding us to hug and kiss and hold close those that we love. It was a reminder to not take each other for granted.
I pray that the 26 lives that were lost that way found their places in Heaven and stand watch over their loved ones.
Moment of silence…
Spice turned seven on December 20. We made beautiful snowman face cupcakes for her class, took her to dinner and let her choose a new bike as her gift. She was delighted to ride out of the store and into the parking lot. I’m astonished that “my baby” is the ripe old age of seven. She is funny, smart and helpful. Our surprise baby definitely completes our family.
Before long, Christmas was upon us and we were making a mad dash to get everything done on time and not to forget any of the details. This year I had a brand new kitchen and was able to bake and cook to my heart’s content. The girls and I made a shit ton of cookies and snacks and genuinely enjoyed working together. I’m proud to say that I had everything bought and wrapped in advance of Christmas Eve. Yes, you read that right. I think the second year in a row that I wasn't wrapping after everyone left our Christmas Eve Extravaganza.
EN and I both took vacation time between Christmas and New Year’s. I’m delighted to say we hardly did anything. We did take a day to visit EN’s grandpa in Connecticut. He was thrilled to be taken to lunch at one of his favorite haunts. When we took him back to his apartment he told us many stories of what his childhood was like. That’s the history every child should know about their family.
2012 drew to a close and we began 2013 with drama related to unexpected expenditures. My car randomly won’t start and no one really knows why. I broke two teeth and they can’t be fixed… the cost to remove and rebuild is more than the cost of my first brand-new car. Indiana, the Jack Russell, required a $1500 surgery the week before Christmas. It was mostly cosmetic in nature and done to prevent future problems. I’ll simply say here that if a boy can reach his penis with his mouth, he WILL lick it until it starts to turn inside out. True story. I have the bill to prove it.
My goal now is to get back on track and blog regularly. It’s become important to me to keep track of sometimes mundane happenings that happen every day that I would normally forget about. I laugh when I go back through some of my posts and remember the time Spice “bippity boppity boo’d” her sister into a penis, or a fun day spent with Sugar. So I keep this blog as much for myself as I do the 20 people that read and tell me they liked what I had to say.
So to those of you that continued to check the blog regularly, or those that texted or emailed to find out where the fuck I was, I thank you for waiting patiently while I was “interrupted.”