Sometimes it sucks to be right about something. Normally when I’m proven right, I gloat a little. I might let a “tee hee” slip out, or even a happy dance. Sometimes I feel bad for being right, only because I occasionally say something really mean-spirited and don’t want it to be right, but…
EN told me earlier this week that Thanksgiving dinner at his mom’s would be at 1:00. I was a snide bitch and said, “Sure. We won’t eat until 3:00. We’ll go there early and be held captive in the house with your sister and her husband.” Sure enough, dinner was served around 3:30. I was a polite and pleasant guest, I said nothing untoward to anyone, not even to my brother-in-law, who drives me batshit crazy almost the instant I lay eyes on him.
This is all in effort of turning over a new leaf. I am opinionated and will sometimes let my opinions bubble to the surface and the innocent know what I am thinking. Not any more. I am doing my best to keep my mouth shut. For example, yesterday when my sister-in-law wasn’t paying attention and her baby’s head hit the table, I said nothing. When she told a story about her husband dropping the baby off at daycare with poop going up his back (he didn’t know diapers could leak?!), I said nothing.
I’ve taken this stance with my own family as well. When my mother rants about the argument she’s had with her sister, I murmur sympathetically. When my sister’s son behaves rudely and is still up at 1 am, I say nothing.
Nor will my friends get an earful from me when they say or do something I disagree with. When they treat their spouse in a way that I don’t like, then come back to the marital home expecting sunshine and roses, I smile and nod. The next time a friend sleeps with another friends husband, I will say nothing… until that friend starts working over my husband, then the gloves are off!
You get the point.
This doesn’t mean, however, that my opinions aren’t rumbling around in my head, ready to spew forth. That’s why I have EN. He is aware of my opinions, thoughts, rants. He’s the only one that REALLY knows how I’m feeling about things. And if there ever comes a time that my friends stop hearing from me altogether, all the polite, thoughtful, fluttery niceties that I vow to say, it’s because EN has stopped listening and I’ve spontaneously combusted.
Or maybe I'll just keep blogging.