Bathroom Pigs

None of my female coworkers are here today, so I’m turning to my blog to vent. I work in a medium-sized office building in an office park. I’ve been with the same company for nine years. Some tenants in this building have changed, others have not.

The other company that shares our floor has been here just as long. In fact, I believe that company used to fill most of this building, but now just occupies a few suites throughout the building. Given that my office is comprised of mostly men, I blame any of the challenges I face in the bathroom on the other company.

I’ve been in a lot of public restrooms in my life. In fact, now that I’m a mother, I see even more of them than I want to. I’ve used bathrooms in airports, camp grounds, amusement parks, concert venues, bars, water parks, my girls’ schools (seriously, were the toilets that freakin’ little when we were kids or is my ass really that big?).

I’ll admit to being a little bit of a germaphobe, I don’t like to sit on a public toilet seat so I hover or cover it with toilet paper. I don’t touch the flusher with my hand and will use my foot, no matter how high I have to reach. This method of flushing caused me to panic last week when I visualized my flip flop falling into the potty. Dear God. The horror.

If there is anything in the toilet when I enter the stall, whether it be “leftovers” or a hair on the seat, I will not use that potty and will find another empty stall. I realize that others use the same toilets, but to use a toilet that has visible evidence of a prior user left behind? I think not.

So I’ve seen a lot of messes, in a lot of places. But this bathroom, here in this office building where PROFESSIONAL people are supposed to be working, takes the cake. I have seen wadded up toilet paper thrown on the floor. What, did we miss the toilet? I’ve seen crap stuck TO THE SEAT… again, did we miss? There have been feminine products (pads and tampons!) left behind in the stalls-on top of that cute little container installed for us to leave said items-and thrown on the floor.

I’ve walked in and overheard women talking on the phone while they are going #2. My question here: where do you put your phone when you are wiping and pulling up your pants? Or are other people coordinated enough to do both at the same time? I’ve walked in to find women popping their acne and leaving the mess behind on the mirror. I’ve walked in to find the lights off because the automatic timer hadn’t detected movement in more than 15 minutes, only to realize there is someone sitting in a stall. Judging by the smell, I’d say she wasn’t napping! I’ve seen spit (I think?) left floating in the sink, paper towels all over the floor. Many days, the counters are flooded with water, so when one of us crazy hand washers uses the sink, we step away and our shirts are soaking wet.

I won’t even mention the number of women I’ve seen walking out of the restroom without even glancing at the sinks where they should be washing their freakin’ hands!

Since the behaviors in the bathroom haven’t changed much over the years, despite the seemingly high turnover rate of the neighboring employer, I’m left to wonder… is there a standard interview question that is asked to ensure that every generation of worker for that company behaves like a complete fucking pig in the bathroom? 

xoxo

Ice Princess