Endings... Or New Beginnings?

I am in a place today where I’m not sure if I should feel happy or sad. My babies are growing up and both faced big changes today. Sugar finished her last year at her elementary school and has been promoted to middle school. Spice quasi-graduated from kindergarten in her private daycare and will move on to kindergarten at a public school.

What makes me happy is the impact on my household budget. We are currently over $900 per month on daycare costs. We’ll see that cost at zero through the summer (thanks Mommy!) and go back up to $450 per month once we need to start sending the girls to after school care. Do you hear the sigh of relief I gave just typing that? That means that EN doesn’t need to work six days a week any more. He’ll still have to do that every once in a while, to cover the extras, but for the most part, we’ll be able to make ends meet on a five-day paycheck. It’s been a long hard road.

I’m happy to see my girls maturing and becoming these tremendously fantastic little people. They are now ten and five years old and I feel very comfortable in the mothering cap I sport around town. My chicks can tell me what ails them and what makes them happy. Mothering is easy and life is good.

However, I am sad when I see my girls growing so quickly. Where has the time gone? Only yesterday, they were babies that I cradled in my arms. Today, they walk and talk, read on their own and have their own very brilliant ideas… Ok, so some ideas aren’t really that “brilliant.”

I was sad dropping Sugar off this morning, her last day at her elementary school. Oh, how my heart broke when she said that she would cry today. Her friends are moving on with her, but what makes her sad is leaving the place and the people that make her comfortable. She regularly has lunch with her 3^rd grade teacher and will no longer be able to do that. She’s devastated to leave behind this woman that she loves so very much. She’s had a great run at her school. She’s made a lot of friends and her teachers have loved her. I saw her change from a hypochondriac 6-year-old to a ten-year-old that works hard to do well. I credit the women that she’s spent the last four years with that guided her and taught her well. I was only along for the ride, and to make sure she arrived at school every day with the important parts covered.

Spice took part in the kindergarten graduation at her daycare tonight. I won’t lie, I arrived there with attitude, pissed off that she rehearsed for weeks, but wasn’t part of the show. I should have known better. Instead of sitting in the audience with me like she was supposed to, she stayed up front, albeit on the sidelines, and sang every song with the kids she’s spent the last few months with. I’m amazed that she knew every song and every move. A huge feat considering that she’s also had skating and dance recitals recently. She’ll start public kindergarten in September. I hope they are ready for my little Spice Girl.

I was pissed at EN for most of the evening as he missed these great events-fire truck ride and last day of school for the girls, because he was off on his weekend. He could wait for Man Whore for four hours and gallivant across the countryside to help his loser freeloading friends, but he couldn’t wait four freakin’ hours to see the girls ride the fire truck to school. There are no words to describe what it was like when the fire truck pulled into the school yard with 400 kids cheering. That’s a ghost he can contend with on his own.

After the festivities of the day, I took the girls to dinner at our favorite place. We were waited on by our favorite waitress and we had a lovely time chatting. It seemed only right that the song from my very own high school graduation would come on while we were there.

May the good Lord be with you 
Down every road you roam 
And may sunshine and happiness 
surround you when you're far from home 
And may you grow to be proud 
Dignified and true 
And do unto others 
As you'd have done to you 
Be courageous and be brave 
And in my heart you'll always stay 
Forever Young, Forever Young 
Forever Young, Forever Young 

May good fortune be with you 
May your guiding light be strong 
Build a stairway to heaven 
with a prince or a vagabond 

And may you never love in vain 
and in my heart you will remain 
Forever Young, Forever Young 

And when you finally fly away 
I'll be hoping that I served you well 
For all the wisdom of a lifetime 
No one can ever tell 

But whatever road you choose 
I'm right behind you, win or lose 
Forever Young, Forever Young 

Forever Young, Rod Stewart

I couldn’t have said it any better myself. 

xoxo

Ice Princess