Shopping for Foundation

Sometimes we are given the opportunity to fuck with people multi-generationally… I would be remiss if I didn't grasp an opportunity such as this when it presents itself.

I've long said that EN gets his “everything nice” from his dad. It’s really ridiculous how nice these two are and it’s even meaner that I took total advantage of their niceness. We have EN Senior visiting us for a few days. Given that father and son coordinated the visit without consulting me, I felt that some retribution was in order.

I got a text a few hours ago that they were headed off to Walmart. I have no idea what their intentions were, but I jumped at the opportunity when EN texted and said, “Do you need anything?” Seriously? Who would NOT have jumped at this opportunity? Every icky section of Walmart was my oyster, which pearl to choose?

I could choose a feminine product or undergarments; even corn syrup would have been amusing because EN insists that no such item exists. I am actually in need of foundation so I asked him to get me some Cover Girl. I told him that the compact was blue and told him the shade I needed. I knew that another woman would have picked this out in a jiff and been on her way in a few minutes. I giggled and wondered how long it would take these two to navigate the very scary makeup aisle.

Inside of 30 minutes, I received four pictures and a gazillion texts on my phone…

Picture #1. I received the picture and told EN this was definitely not correct, it says POWDER in big letters. He pointed out that it said foundation in little bitty letters. Anybody knows, you go by what the big letters say. So I asked if it looked powdery or creamy and he said it was covered with plastic. Rather than attempting to describe the difference in the “look,” I told him to just try to find something that said cream foundation.

Picture #2. Definitely not what I usually buy. So I said that wasn't correct.

Picture #3. That is definitely a compact of pressed powder. Any girl in the world, even one that uses fancy shit from Sephora, recognizes that compact. Next.

Picture #4 arrived after I looked online to find out what the EXACT name of the foundation was so I could text the precise name.

EN texted back as a “friendly FYI” that the stuff I wanted didn't have the WORD foundation on it anywhere.

Truly yes, I am grateful that my husband and his father were kind and brave enough to traverse the makeup aisles in Walmart, but seriously folks… If they had sent me out to get a Philips screwdriver, would I have stood in the hardware aisle panicked looking for the word PHILIPS to appear on a screwdriver?

I think not. 

What's even funnier (to me anyway) is that their hands look so alike, I'm not even sure which one is "posing" for the picture. 

xoxo

Ice Princess