Thursday, April 12, 2012

I'd Rather Discuss Frogs

Call me “Blogger of the Year” with the amount of posts I’ve been putting up lately. I’ll admit to being in a really shitty mood. Things have exploded with my parents and sister and I can’t seem to concentrate on much else. I thank God that I live in a house with wacky pets and even crazier people. They give me something else to focus on.

I’m thrilled to announce that Sugar’s 5th grade science discussions currently revolve around sexual and asexual reproduction. Teachers: can y’all send a note home before such topics are brought up? Us pansy, embarrassed mamas need time to prepare for the onslaught of questions.

Last night at dinner, Sugar waited until EN left the table and then we had the following conversation:

Sugar: Humans are mammals and have to have a mate. How does that work?
Me: What do you mean? {Admit it, my stalling techniques are brilliant!}
Sugar: We are talking about sexual and asexual reproduction in Science.
Me: Then it sounds like humans are in the sexual reproduction category.
Sugar: yes, but how does that work exactly?

Thankfully, I don’t have to reply here because Spice felt the need to pipe up…

Spice: That’s easy. A boy and a girl see each other and they think each other is cute and they get married and have kids. DUH.

At this point, I think Sugar was taken aback by her sister having an answer, whether it was the answer she was looking for or not, but she needed to “one up” her on the DUH scale.

Sugar: Did you know that frogs can change themselves if there are too many of one sex? Like if there are too many girls, they can change into being boys.

This is a fact that I am unaware of, folks. For all I know, her description of the process may not even be accurate, but I definitely am NOT smarter than a fifth grader. However, I used the change in topic to my advantage.

Me: so. We have too many girls in this house. Which one of you wants to turn into a boy frog?

Crisis diverted.

Interesting conversations ahead. Can’t I just buy her a freakin’ book?

Ice Princess


  1. Great diversion! When my son came home in 5th grade and told me they split the boys and girls up and showed them a movie and discussed sex, I about died. I couldn't come up with anything and sat there looking dumbfounded while he told me about it. My hubby told me later he about walked over to help me pick my mouth back up off the floor!

  2. Holy shit!!! They see THE MOVIE in 5th grade?! I am unprepared.

  3. At least in our community they do. I was shocked it was this young as well. I was really shocked I didn't get a note home warning me it was going to happen.