Ok, I was supposed to post this over the weekend, but I never got around to doing it as I was busy doing yard work and shit. Seriously. No, really, Friday was a weird day and it’s taken me time to think it though and make it make sense in my head. Nothing overly bad happened, but I felt a little out of sorts when it was over.
My work buddy Skippy’s last day was Friday. We worked together for almost seven years. I kept telling him that was longer than most people stay married these days. We went to lunch one day last week and that was our official “good-bye” but watching him clean out his office really bothered me. We have had some fun times… he’s the guy I shop with at Christmas time, he’s the one that tells me my clothes suck and I tell him the same. I laugh at his shoes and his bowling shirt. I laughed even harder when he tried to sneak his moisturizer through Canadian customs and they threw it out because the container was over the size limit. This devastated Skippy as they no longer make his man moisturizer, I don’t know what he switched to. I once sang with Skippy over lunch at a quarterly review meeting. The VP of Worldwide Sales couldn’t remember what song mentioned Winslow, Arizona, so Skip and I belted out “Take It Easy” by the Eagles. We owned that song, this coming from a girl that never sings in front of anyone, ever.
I gave Skippy his nickname within his first month here. He looks very much like the character from Family Ties. I almost always called him by that name, never realizing that he didn’t like it. Someone in the executive staff heard about the nickname and addressed him by it when he got an award in front of the entire sales force. I was quite pleased that a nickname I had chosen had made it that far. It was only then that I realized he hated the nickname, but allowed me to call him that. I’ll miss that guy, we had a lot of laughs.
I left work a teensy bit early and got home in time to get Sugar from the bus. Today was the day she’s been waiting for: we were headed to the mall for her iPod Touch. Before we did that though, we had the grossest errand in the world. About a year ago, Sugar left a $20 on the table and Bella ate it. How do I know that she ate it? Well, because she got constipated and pooped out the five pieces of $20 bill in the house. Oh yes, so everyone, ask yourselves, what is the cash limit in your head that you’d actually clean up the money? I wouldn’t do it for a dollar bill, or even a five, but a twenty? You bet your ass. I wore gloves and cleaned that money with bleach and stuck it in a baggie. Since Sugar knew better than to leave anything on the table where the fat dog could get it, I figured she could bring it to the bank and ask for new money. I thought EN was going to bring her, but he never did so we stopped at the bank on Friday.
We went in and I had to do the talking. And I lied. I lied to the teller in front of my child. I told her the dog had puked the money, that seems better than pooping it out. Then the teller told me that I needed to try to tape that money up. So I stood there, nearly hyperventilating and taped up that money with sweat dripping from my brow. Sugar looked on in awe as I taped that poop money back together. It was disgusting and I considered just ditching that money, but I’m cheap like that. For your own reference, the very nice, laughing bank ladies told me that they’ll take ruined money and give you new money, so long as what you are turning in is at least 51% of the bill. They also complimented me on my fabulous blue fingernails.
The trip to the mall was uneventful. We got Spice some tap shoes and the iPod for Sugar. I had to pitch in less than $30, so she did a good job saving on her own. I have to give her credit for trying to upsell me though. She tried to get me to throw in an iTunes card and case. She is her father’s child. I caved on the case.
Then we met Skinny Bitch and her girls for ice cream. I don’t get to see these people nearly enough. It is so easy to hang with them. Since we are a matched set, both my girls are occupied and Skinny Bitch and I get to chatter on to our heart’s content. She even had blue toenails in my honor. I’m considering starting a Blue Nail Cult. ;o)
Friday evening was a big night in EN’s world. I’ve said before that I’m not a sports fan. I could care less about who’s playing what, who’s winning, player gossip, anything. I just don’t care. The only thing I care about a little bit, is how the losing team must feel when the game is over. That makes me sad, and I can’t even look at their faces on TV for fear that I will cry myself.
EN is a huge hockey fan. He is a fan of the worst hockey team ever and I’ve given him endless grief about his band o’losers for the last 15 years. I promised him years ago, that in return for taking the shit I dish out, if they ever made it to the Stanley Cup Finals, I would buy him a ticket to the game. I will say that I’m impressed that he’s still a fan of this team as they have a habit of losing spectacularly and heartbreakingly. EN never gave up hope. On Friday night, they did it. They won their last game and will play in the finals.
I’m amused at how quickly everyone blew up my Facebook and cell phone, knowing I would have to buy the ticket. I guess many don’t realize that when I say something, I mean it whole-heartedly and honestly. I said I would buy him a ticket, and you bet your sweet ass that’s exactly what I did on Saturday morning. Just like his daughter, he tried to throw in extras like a new jersey and a ticket for a friend. There is a limit to my generosity and the $550+ I spent on one ticket was it.
Of course the guy who gave me the hardest time through the years is EN’s best friend (I use that term loosely for many reasons). He was one of the first that texted me Friday night and said, “You better get us good seats.” I assumed, because he is as big a fan as EN, that he had saved money for his own ticket in the event that a miracle happened. However, as soon as it came time to close the deal on tickets, he backed out. I find it ironic that he was one of the first to try to bust my balls, when he’s the guy who never, ever puts his money where his mouth is.
So, the children are happy with their new shoes and gadget, EN is happy with his ticket to Game Four. I am sad for the loss of my coworker and the dent in my savings account. It’s pretty hard to be sad around happy people, I let their moods be contagious.